Holy Hell, Mason
by stranger12
Summary: Mason walks into the diner wearing an unusual outfit


**Dead Like Me – Holy Hell, Mason**

Mason walks into the diner wearing an unusual outfit

* * *

"... and one blueberry muffin"

"Thank you, Kiffany" – George thanked the kindly waitress, and happily dug into her breakfast. Daisy started pouring syrup on her pancakes, and Rube smiled as he cut into his eggs and bacon.

"Extra crispy" – the man commented, giving George a look – "That's the way to go"

"Well, it's not like we're gonna die of a heart attack" – the youngest Reaper said, shrugging and accepting one of his bacon pieces.

"Or ever get fat" – Daisy added with a smirk as she started eating.

"There's gotta be some perks to the job" – George hummed.

"Where the fuck's Roxy and Mason?" – Rube questioned in between bites.

"Oh, there's Roxy now" – Daisy chirped – "My word, what in the world is Mason even wearing?" – George turned in curiosity as she automatically slid further into the booth. She chocked some as she spotted their fellow Reaper, not that it was in any way difficult to spot him. Everyone else in the diner certainly seemed to agree, even usually unflappable Kiffany.

"Don't even. Please don't even start" – Mason said quickly before anyone could get a word out – "I know how I look, I have a bloody mirror in the house, I don't need any of you giving me a hard time about this" – he motioned to his length, and Roxy snorted as she sat beside George and called Kiffany over.

"I agree, we should be nice to Mason" – the police officer said evenly – "Hi, Kiffany. Just some coffee and a ham and onions omelet, please, thank you. You're too much of a fucking loser for any of us to waste that much of a time commenting on your stupid as hell habits"

"I can't not ask. What on Earth, Mason?" – Daisy asked, looking pained – "It's awful, really, and even considering it's you, it's still one of the most hideous things I have ever seen, and you wouldn't be able to imagine some of the costumes I saw back in the day"

"It's a look, Daisy, chill out" – Kiffany walked behind him and he called out – "Kiffany, love! The biggest cup of coffee you have, and a key lime pie" – she made note of it and walked away with a sharp nod, barely even giving him a second look.

"Why are you dressed like that anyway?" – George asked.

"Fuck that" – Rube interrupted, slamming his notebook on the desk and pushing his empty plate away. He gave each Reaper a yellow post–it – "Here are your reaps, don't fuck them up, or I'll make you dress worse than Mason" – he snorted at the squawking Brit as he slid out and walked away.

"Fucking prick" – Mason complained, taking Rube's seat.

"Okay, but seriously, what the fuck are you wearing?" – George tried again – "I mean, this really is a little much, even for you, and I've seen you walk around in your nasty–ass underwear"

"Why, Georgie, why do you have to be so mean?"

"I'm honest, now spill" – she pushed her plate away and stared into him. Roxy snorted as she received her order, and Daisy cleared her throat.

"Even I'm curious" – the actress said, batting her eyes at him – "It is very unusual for you"

"Alright, fine!" – he motioned them forward, and even Roxy made the effort to lean closer – "I had the opportunity to be a part of a certain cinematic project, and this is what I was required to wear, alright? They let me keep it, so, eh, what the hell, free clothes" – the women leaned back into their seats, staring at his all too amused and unashamed face.

"Gay porn?" – George started.

"Dungeon fuck boy?" – Roxy dryly continued.

"Soft core snuff?" – Daisy ended with a careful look.

"Here we go" – Kiffany presented Mason with his coffee and pie – "I would feel better if you put this under you" – she handed him a towel before walking over to another table.

"That was awfully rude" – Mason grumbled but did as told.

"You are wearing ass–less chaps, dumbass" – Roxy pointed out – "It's a wonder you haven't been kicked out for being gross as shit"

"Can't you arrest him? It's kinda obscene" – George complained.

"Thanks, love"

"Oh, Mason. Mason, Mason, Mason" – Daisy tsked – "I have to say, I don't think this is a very good look for you. You don't go with all leather, although, not many people do. Now, what is the name of this cinematic work? I'll be sure to track it down, do you know when it's coming out?"

"I'll have to give the guy a call to confirm it, but I can get you a copy, Daisy, my dear"

"Thank you, that would be lovely" – she turned to their female Reaper colleagues – "Isn't it lovely? Another actor in our midst"

"I sincerely hope you're being sarcastic" – Roxy told her.

"I'm not sure what I hope, but I definitely don't need to see what Mason did in that outfit, or who did what to him" – George said with a disgusted grimace.

"Hey! I could've done stuff to people too, you know!"

"But did you? 'Cause, seriously, Mason, I like you and all, but" – George had no words to describe how she felt about what he looked like at the moment – "Also, I one hundred percent think the world does NOT need your pasty ass immortalized on film"

"God, don't even mention it" – Roxy asked, shivering – "The mere thought"

"I'm sure it's lovely, Mason, whatever it is" – Daisy gave him an angelic smile – "Even if it involves some very endowed dildos up your ass while you wear that sad little vest"

"It is not a sad little vest!" – the man complained – "Everyone was wearing one! And I think it's rather dashing"

"Considering the kind of movie you were probably in" – Roxy started – "I don't doubt that everyone else in it was wearing similar ridiculous outfits as you, dumbass"

"You are all so mean to me! See if I get you two a copy of my movie!"

"No thanks" – Roxy and George said in unison after sharing a quick look.

"So evil! You would fit right in, actually, with the women at the set"

"Do you actually mean a set?" – Daisy piped up – "I mean, I know all about sets and how some people will use anywhere for their purposes. I have seen plenty of home movies being passed off as real movies, after all"

"Ah. Well, that might... It might've been some bloke's apartment..." – Mason trailed off.

"And where is this apartment located?" – Roxy barked, keen mind spinning.

Mason looked annoyed but easily told her, not in the least imagining the way the woman was going to come down on the apartment in search of illegal drugs and who knows what else (if it had seduced Mason, she was sure illegality was at its core).

As they walked out, with Mason surprisingly paying for his own food for once, Roxy quickly walked away, and Daisy waved at them before gliding onto the streets. George turned a frown at Mason and looked him up and down.

"It's not that I want to see your gross little movie... But what is it about anyway?" – the man grinned and put an arm around her that she tried to shove off with little success.

"Georgie, Georgie. I'm not sure I should be telling you all this, as innocent a flower as you are, but since you asked..."

Afterwards, George made a note not to ask Mason about his porn career ever the hell again.


End file.
